Baby Shower Madness!! +Tidbits.

So it's been a little while, but I did that on purpose. Nothing too particularly exciting has happened except this past saturday was.... my baby shower!!

What an experience it was. It's one of those things you never think about having for yourself and can hardly believe when it happens. As with the whole pregnancy so far, I felt just so completely overwhelmed with all the people who came, all the effort that went into throwing the shower, the time given by people to help make it happen, and especially the love from those who spent their money, and had the kindness to buy gifts for my little Gavin nugget. It's still just so amazing that so many people are excited for the arrival of mine and Nick's child, and he is already receiving so much love. I really can't wait until he's here, he's going to get so much love and kisses :)

Anyway. There are photos of the shower, but I truly don't want to go through saving and posting them here and such. I can assume if you found this blog, you can find my facebook. Both my mom and her best friend Barb have shared photos from the shower, so find them via my facebook. I'm just too lazy to do them on here haha.

Also, earlier this week I did the glucose test. I had to drink that glucola stuff that everyone bitches about, and it was actually pretty good. I wouldnt drink it every day but reading about people throwing up from it and whining that it was like a flat soda built it up for nothing in my head. He said I had 10 minutes to finish the whole thing, and it look me like 20 seconds.

AND. As of yesterday, I'm officially in the third trimester! I can't believe it. It's kind of freaky now, we actually have to really get moving on getting his nursery finished and being a parent is actually coming up really soon. ohhhh boy.

Don't Read if You Can't Tolerate Mushiness...

I'm feeling really sappy a lot of the time these days. I'm pretty much a huge cheeseball and Nick and I tease back and forth as he rolls his eyes and pretends to not be into it, while I overact with the romantics and cartoonishly fawn over him.

But in all seriousness, I'm so happy lately about he and I, and the way our lives have come together and the things we've achieved as a couple, and as a new family.

I don't think I could be more in love with him now that he and I are starting a family together and we're having our own child together.

Sometimes it still blows my mind that I ended up with him; for several years I considered him "the one that got away", and I was more than happy to pick up with him again when we reconnected in 2007. Who would've thought we still wanted all those crazy things we talked about as high school kids, like marriage?

April 2002.

Who'da thought these kids would be welcoming a son, 

10 years from the moment of this photograph?

Who knew first loves could have actually gotten it right the first time?

As I stopped to proofread this entry so far, with my hands feeling Gavin kicking away, I'm just happy. I'm so thankful Nick and I found each other through so many almost-miss circumstances all those years ago, I'm so glad all my other relationships weren't right for me, I'm so glad we just started hanging out a little bit near the end of 2007 and decided we wanted to try this out again.

And though I don't know the exact occasion that lead to our Gavin nugget being created, I'm really happy it did and that Nick is the person it happened with. It makes me all the more glad I was smart and sensible as a teenager, and never had any other pregnancy before this one to taint how incredible this time in my life is.

Ok, I know. I'm super cheesy and a total fag. I can't help it. A friend who is also pregnant right now asked me early on if I'd had all the mega-sappy feelings yet, and I totally see what she was getting at now. I mean, I've always felt super lovey and affectionate towards Nick, it's just incredible how a child multiplies it by 1000. I love that shit head<3

24 weeks.

"People always say that pregnant women have a glow, and I say it's because you're sweating to death."

- Jessica Simpson

YES. I never need to wear a jacket, even on the chillier days. I always have the car windows down a bit even when Nick is freezing. I am a goddamn sauna.

Just Gotta Say....

Thank baby jesus for maternity bras!

I've been wearing one of the new ones I picked up today for all of an hour and the difference is ahhh-mazing! I may never go back to a normal bra again!

Not that I really could, since my new bra size has reached some letters and numbers like I've never seen before. le sigh. This kid better eat up once he's birthed so these things can regain some post-partum normalcy. Or he's grounded.

23 Weeks.

So, a few things going on with the baby-growing lately.

At my last OB appointment, Gavin kept up with his typical uncooperativeness. He was moving around so much, it took awhile to hear his heartbeat clearly with the doppler. She even tried pressing on my belly (at the top of my uterus) to limit his space. haha. It actually worked! In the end, she only got a range of 152-158, which is good. 

His kicks are also getting a lot more vigorous and complex, which I love. He's gone from the early days of soft, single nudges to full-on acrobatics. I'll often feel kicks near the back or bottom of my uterus and front at the same time. Like he's kicking and pushing outward in all directions. And today for the first time it felt like he kicked an organ! I had to pee really bad, so my bladder was probably just pushing into his space more than normal, but it definitely felt like he was kicking it, signaling me to get up and go pee already. Sorry Gavin, I didn't wanna leave my meatball sub! Nom!

Speaking of eating, I learned how much weight I've gained thus far in pregnancy. Essentially, I was shocked. I didn't feel like I'd gained that much! But I guess that's a good thing, cause if I can gain this certain number and I only see a difference in my boobs and belly, I think that's a good sign for the rest of my body. or something. If I gained up to the recommended amount (something like 35 pounds), I think I would still resemble my pre-pregnancy self. Except my belly. That definitely will be different. God dammit.

Oh, also very exciting: We have the baby shower invitations! My mom and I sat for like an hour designing and finding the right wording we wanted and I think they turned out amazing. 

With baby shower planning officially underway, I'll say now that I'm registered at Target and Babies R Us. If you know me, you know what name to search for.

Note on the registries: Yes, my mom and I got scan-happy when we made them. We realized it was better to over-do it than under-do it. We made sure as much as possible to skip the frivolous stuff as well. (Who the fuck needs a baby wipe warmer?) Also, yeah we put in there some of the more expensive items. I've had some family indicate they wanted to buy us a big ticket item for the baby, so I had to pick things I liked. SO there!

Anyway, if you feel so inclined, have at it! Help me acquire things for the caretaking of my little nugget!

22 Weeks & Current Discomforts

Holy CRAP this is going by fast!! I still remember so vividly the late days of June where I just KNEW something was up, and then finding out over 4th of July weekend that I had a Bean Sprout.

Now it's almost Halloween.

With the second half of pregnancy come some discomforts that can truly suck sometimes. I've read about the spine changing its curvature, which pinches a nerve that runs all the way down the spine and legs.

Well, fuck. This side effect sucks.

I've actually been experiencing this since the early days of pregnancy, but it's super intense nowadays. And it sucks. Did I mention that?

I can no longer lay on my back, no matter how comfortable it is. It's fine while I'm laying down, but when I try to move afterwards is what fucking gets me. I get an excruciating, stabbing pain in my left hip and the only solution is to lay still on my side until I can move again without wanting to die. Once it took 2 whole nights of avoiding my back completely before my hip felt normal again. Sometimes, it'll even make my leg weak to the point that standing on it by itself (like when putting on pants) is difficult.

This additionally sucks ass because I am a lifelong stomach sleeper, and sleeping on my sides is the least comfortable position for me. With stomach and back both effectively eliminated as sleeping possibilities, you can imagine how fun it is to try to become and remain comfortable the entire night. I've been putting a pillow between my legs, which I don't know why, but it helps. Also, on occasions when Nick isn't in the bed with me, sometimes if I stretch a leg way out in front of me while on my side, I feel more comfortable. So when he leaves in the mornings, I definitely take over his side with a couple limbs. haha.

So essentially, comically exaggerated positions provide the best comfort. Thanks Gavin.

When you add in still having to get up to pee in the night, plus Ollie being an annoying prick and having to play with EVERYTHING in the room at 3am, I don't really ever get uninterrupted sleep. (Kicking the cats out of the room doesn't help for long, they have a way of gripping under the door with their claws and pulling it so the door is being rattled and jarred in its frame. It's fucking annoying. It even wakes Nick up, the soundest sleeper in the Western Hemisphere.)

I don't mean to sound like a Complainy McWhinypants, cause I know some women have it way worse. Let me tell you, I have heard some damn horror stories about what can happen to a woman's body while pregnant. My God. Also, don't get me wrong because I really do love being pregnant. It's such an interesting and challenging experience, and I can see myself missing it. I know for sure I'll miss his kicks. I swear, it's the coolest feeling to sense all his nudges and movements. I can tell he's getting so big by how the movements have changed over the last few weeks.

I'll wrap up this super long ramble-fest now. Today is 22 weeks exactly and tomorrow is my next appointment at the OB. I'll get my belly measured and get to hear his little heartbeat again. Hooray!

Bean Sprout is a......

BOY!!!

A couple weeks ago my mom, my husband and myself all went to my appointment to finally find out what my little nugget is packing.

It was so amazing having them both there to see the baby finally, all moving around and growing. He was definitely an active little bee, and the sonogram tech sometimes had trouble getting a proper image of some of the things she needed to measure. The Sprout seems to be developing a track record of being uncooperative. :P

I think no one was in shock probably more than Nick, who claimed for WEEKS the Sprout was undoubtedly a girl. He was all but sure that there's no way it's a boy, it has to be a GIRL. Sorry Nicky, not this one!

Since learning the gender, things have progressed a lot in getting ready for his arrival. Mom and I went and made his 2 registries at Babies R Us and Target. There's so much great stuff out there, I hope we get most of it since we made sure not to really scan frivolous stuff; just necessities and of course a few cute clothes items! With all the love we've been receiving since learning we were expecting, I'm sure we will not be disappointed with the gifts Gavin will end up getting. :)

We also got a huge start on his nursery! The room is painted, and the crib and changing table are assembled. It looks BEAUTIFUL so far, I can't wait to see it come together with all the decorations and his things after the baby shower. I'll post pics of it when I'm not lazy. Maybe soon. I dunno.

I figured I was being super lazy, especially since we found out the gender almost two weeks ago but whatev. Gavin won't mind.

Halfway!!!

Today marks 20 weeks of growing my little nugget!

What a fantastic milestone. :)

Approximately 20 more weeks until the Sprout is here!

ahsdkhaskh!!!!!!!!

TWO DAYS.

TWO DAYS UNTIL WE KNOW THE GENDER.

TWO.

FRIDAY.

OMG!!

A Little Bit o'Shopping

Bean Sprout finally has shim's first pieces of furniture!!

Nick and I went and looked at a few cribs today, and while that wasn't particularly helpful, I got over the desire that made me feel like I had to touch and see one up close in order to buy it.

I'm excited to get them here and put together, and get this empty room looking like a nursery. Another step towards it being real!

Anyway, here's the pieces I got:

Graco Freeport Convertible Crib in Espresso

Graco Freeport Changing Table in Espresso

Now, I think the color is much more dark cherry-ish than espresso, but I like it. I think it'll look great once I start getting everything with the room together.

Also, less than one week until we know what gender this little nugget is!!! I'm hoping shim isn't shy and shows us all the goods!

If not, my face will look like this:

Minor Scare.

Last week we had our first little "scare" with the baby.

From first entering my 17th week, I had been feeling some minor pains in my abdomen - essentially, my uterus. I've pretty much learned to tell the difference between uterus pains and stomach/digestive pains. These pains didn't bother me too badly; I'd read that this stage in pregnancy will bring them as the baby is supposed to double in weight in one of many growth spurts.

It wasn't until tuesday night when Nick and I were in Target. I started getting BAD pains. I didn't feel like I could walk or stand at some points. I tried to use the restroom, just in case, with no relief. We went home and I laid down and eventually felt better. We even went to have dinner with Nick's aunt, uncle and cousins and I was fine all night.

I woke up on wednesday not feeling much better. I contemplated visiting a local doctor all day (we had been staying in Maryland since monday). Eventually, we decided to just start the drive back to Norfolk. I was miserable. Originally I was driving, but we switched about an hour in because I just couldn't drive and deal with the pain anymore. I slowly started feeling better, but by the time we got home I was feeling it even worse. At one point, after using the restroom, I just crawled forward off the toilet and laid on the goddamn floor for like 15 minutes cause I couldn't take it anymore. I was defeated. Not the proudest moment of my life. And now I'm telling the internet about it. That's right. I LAID ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR IN SEETHING PAIN. Eventually Nick came and found me and asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. I pitifully nodded yes so we got me dressed and made our way to Portsmouth NMC.

In the ER, we thankfully didn't wait an eternity. I gave them a urine sample, and the doctor gave me a pelvic exam and an ultrasound. The exam was uncomfortable, but everything looked fine. I'm so happy we got an ultrasound though, even through all my misery that day. I couldn't see the screen from where I was laying, but Nick finally got to see our baby for the first time. :) Well, other than the prints I've brought home from my past two ultrasounds.

In the end, the doctors felt comfortable sending me home and the baby looked fine. Which was my concern from the start. I wanted the pain to stop, but I wanted even more to know the Sprout was still ok. With all the pain I had been feeling, I hadn't felt as many kicks as normal, so that added slightly to my worry. Also, while everything else did look fine, the doctor said my left ovary felt a little firm, so I just need to follow up and make sure that's nothing major.

So there it is. My first pregnancy hospital trip. Certainly painful, but I'm grateful it wasn't too much in the end. Bean Sprout is ok and I'm ok so I can't complain.

I'm also very grateful I have a wonderful husband who sat with me the whole time, even if it meant not getting to relax at home on his last night of leave from work. He made sure I was comfortable in bed and felt better the next day. I love him :3

Oh hay, in a side note:

I am immensely amused by my bellybutton right now. haha. Its isn't popping out, but I can tell my stomach is stretching because my bellybutton is like, wider. Like instead of being a small little crevice, it's like, pulled open and is just... bigger. lol. I took my piercing out cause I was sick and fucking tired of people being like OMG YOU HAVE TO TAKE THAT OUT OMG. (Cause I'm so horrible for keeping it in, right? My poor child) But ever since I took out the jewelry, I noticed my naval's all huge. And it's hilarious. haha. It's going to be an outie soon!

We have movement!

Over last weekend I began feeling my baby move around for the first time!!

On Friday, I was driving through Arnold and felt a little something. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and decided it probably wasn't movement. Nah. Maybe gas. Or digestion. Couldn't be the Bean Sprout.

Fast forward to Sunday. I'm at the Elk's with Mom, all geared up in our jerseys, eating some good noms, and watching the Ravens getting stomped by the Titans. yep.

And I began to feel some of the same things I felt on Friday. I realized that these HAD to be kicks. My baby was DEFINITELY moving around and I was finally able to feel it! I was so excited, and it was even more amazing cause the baby moved around a lot the rest of the night. So throughout the evening when I was at home relaxing, I could just sit back and just feel the little nugget moving and kicking and FINALLY letting me know it was alive and doing great.

Now I feel it all the time. Mostly when I'm sitting, rather than standing or laying flat. I'm super excited for when it's big and strong enough for Nick to feel it too. :)

More Appointments & Pulling Down my Pants for Strangers.

Yesterday, I had another Doctor's appointment.

It was really interesting to say the least.

I was sitting in the exam room, waiting for her to come in. She finally did and then probably said all of one sentence, I think just saying hello, when someone came over the loudspeaker:

"ATTENTION ALL STAFF AND PATIENTS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALL STAFF AND PATIENTS PLEASE CALMLY EVACUATE THE BUILDING."

O.o

We made our way out, where there were a ton of military police cars outside at every corner of the building. It must not've been that big of a deal, cause all of 5 minutes later we were let back in.

Well. Um, anyway.

Back in the clinic, the Dr pulled out a small doppler machine, a handheld thingy to let us hear the baby's heartbeat.

AND HEAR IT WE DID!!

I heard little Sprout's heart beating away at a perfect 150. :)

It was amazing.

With no detectable movement, sometimes I get worried if Sprout is still in there, doing ok, still growing. So everytime I have an appointment where I get to see or hear my little nugget, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to meet this little turd :)

Dream On.

I've heard people talk about the supposedly "crazy" pregnancy dreams. While I haven't had anything I feel is particularly absurd since I've been pregnant, I have had a few dreams related to being pregnant.

I dreamt that I had my baby. Not the delivery or anything, but already all wrapped up and cleaned and everything. I remember it was a girl, and she was absolutely beautiful. She had dark hair and blue eyes. And she was smiling at me as we just looked at each other adoringly. She also appeared a lot older than a newborn. At least a few months old. I really liked that dream. :) Note, I have no idea what the gender is, so who knows if this means anything. I don't like to read into dreams so I'm not assuming anything.

I had another dream that I felt the baby moving and kicking. Simple, but it was really cool and I'm excited to actually feel the baby move around and actually signal to me that it's in there and still growing and living and doing ok.

I coulda sworn it was three dreams I've had recently, but for the life of me can't think of the third one. I swore it was three... oh well. Maybe I'll think of it later.

As for right now, I'm gonna go make some mac and cheese. Shocking, I know. You can all pick your jaws up off the floor now.

Obstacles.

I find myself facing an entirely new issue in life. Of course it's something I expected, but the internal conflicts I'm facing are certainly challenging nonetheless, and now I'm gonna have to learn to deal with it.

The Navy Reserve has always offered me all kinds of opportunities, many I've not been able to take and some I have. (I'll never forget the 2 month NCIS orders in Italy in Summer 2009 I had to pass up. UGH!) So since I graduated college, I've been pumped to be able to have the chance to take on more duties. However....

Bean Sprout. 

I can only be authorized to be on orders until I'm 32 weeks along, which is January. I'm also factoring in the upcoming winter holidays and such. This leaves me not able to do much of anything after mid-December. This is definitely bumming me out, since I love to keep busy, love to be working and with my new bundle of baby, I won't be able to do this really. Of course baby will keep me busy, duh, but that won't help my professional development.

I'm just such an ambitious person that the thought of sitting at home for too long sounds not very exciting at all. I just got an e-mail from one of my Chiefs about doing recruiter duty for 2 years, with the option to extend for 3 more. This sounds really challenging, yet kind of fun. I could definitely get into doing this job. But... le sigh. I told Chief to keep me posted about opportunities next year. So who knows. While I unfortunately can't get myself back into the workforce right now, I definitely want to. I only have about another week and a half of work til I'm done for awhile. I have a potential 2 weeks in November, then nothing else on my horizon til after the Sprout is born.

I just hope being a stay-at-home mommy keeps me satisfied for awhile. As I've gotten older, I never thought I would be satisfied in that lifestyle. My drive has obviously helped me achieve a lot and I hate to bring myself to a halt, even if it's for family. We'll see how I feel in Feb/March. I'm so excited to have my little stinky-butt baby here, but I also like making money.

But like I said. We'll see.

Score one for preggo!

"According to the FDA, foods containing raw eggs carry a Salmonella risk, but their commercial counterparts don’t. Commercial products are made with pasteurized eggs, which have been heated sufficiently to kill bacteria; therefore, commercial preparations of cookie dough are not a food hazard."

This is the best thing I've read all day!! :D

Mama's been craving cookie dough!

Pet Peeve #376284

So I'm thinking it would be pretty awesome if random people, who aren't my family/husband/doctor or even that close to me would NOT ask if I'm going to breastfeed.

Normally, this may or may not annoy me, but when you're my (male) boss and asking, I'm kinda gonna wanna know wtf is wrong with you dude.

Since when is that included in the normal line of pregnancy questioning???

i.e.,

"When are you due?"

"Boy or girl?"

"Are you excited?"

(fucking of course I am, are you that desperate to make small talk with someone who's pregnant?)

When has it become ok to ask someone you may not really know personally, or that well, if they're going to breastfeed? Protip: it's my own goddamn business.

I think I might just start answering no so I can piss off all the super duper gung-ho pro-breastfeeders. Then tell them I don't care. They can all go be wet nurses if they love it so much.

Carry on.

So....

I can essentially sum of all of pregnancy thus far with one single photograph.

oh yes. You thought I ate a lot of mac and cheese before? psshht

Of Boys and Girls

What is with people's disbelief and unwillingness to accept that I don't have a preference of the baby's gender? I get asked all the time what I hope it is, and I reply that I don't care, that I just want it to be healthy, perfect, all ten fingers and toes, blah blah blahh.

This is almost always followed by the person being like



"......really?"

Um, yes really.

I mean you can write to Ripley's Believe It or Not if you have such a hard time with this and then go petition that I become an exhibit in their museum, but believe it or not, this is how I feel. I feel equally as excited thinking about Nick with his little mini-me boy as I do thinking about me with my little mini-me princess. The kid will be my bff either way. And I will teach it to love the Spice Girls with me either way.

 

You know you miss those crazy Brits. I sure do.


At least I am excited to find out the gender in 2 months. I honestly can't believe there are people out there who still live in the stone age and CHOOSE to not know the gender until birth. Fuck that. If you're one of these people and are offended, I don't really care. Congratulations, you made yourself wait out a surprise an extra 5 months for no real reason and put a burden on everyone who had to buy you baby shower gifts. Dumb.

So to reiterate, I don't care right now what naughty parts the sprout is growing. Really. I promise. (Just that whatever parts they are, are developing normally.... and there's only one set of parts.)

Some random tidbits and sappyness

1. The gender ultrasound is set for October 14th!!!! Once we have that, 

I can announce what the name will be :D

2. I haven't been able to button my work pants for at least a week or so now. bahaha.

It might be time to get some maternity uniforms.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel super maternal and sappy. I'm so eager to start physically feeling the bean sprout in terms of bigger belly, kicks and movement, etc. I already am starting to feel so close to it, and feel like I want to tell it that I love it, and I'll protect it forever, and I want to take it everywhere, show it everything there is to see, teach it the beautiful things I've loved throughout the years. I also want to know the gender so I can stop saying "it". dammit. Saying "it" ruined my flow of sap and mushiness in my head as I was typing. 

But seriously, I feel so happy to be carrying this little baby, keeping it warm and safe and nurtured. I mean, I've had pets most of my life that I've loved with all my heart and treated as my furry children, but some of the feelings I'm starting to get just knowing I have my little one growing and getting ready to meet me and its daddy, it's incredible. I can't wait to love on this little thing every single day :)

aaahhh omg I'm so lame. haha. Ok, I'll end this cheese-session. I need to go de-cheese myself. Maybe take a shower.

P.S. Happy birthday today to my mommy and proud grandmommy-to-be!!!

Symptoms and Indicators

So I can only imagine the jeers and evil eyes I would earn with this, but I must say, this pregnancy has been really easy and really good to me. If the one glaring, obvious symptom of my lack of a bleedy uterus hadn't given it away, who knows how long until I'd realized my body was harboring a rogue swimmer from my husband.

First of all, the greatest thing about this pregnancy so far is...

No morning sickness.

Yep. It's true. Suck on that. At most, I'll feel mild nausea when I'm hungry. Which feels ass backwards in terms of me being able to fix both, but if I just eat something, both go away and Mandy is a happy lady.

However, one symptom I didn't need was the BOOBS. If you've met me for five minutes, you are well aware of the fact that I was endowed with some ta-ta's. I was in bras by 6th grade, B-cup by 8th, and a C by high school graduation. The girls decided they were too legit to quit so they kept on keepin' on and I've been a D since I was 18 or 19. So my milk glands springing to life like a new diesel engine has created a side effect I just don't care for. I guess it's a good thing I already know how to dress them to not be obnoxious and be all LOOK AT ME! And I suppose the bright side is that Nick doesn't have any objection to this change in my body. So at least someone is enjoying it.

One big annoyance: Peeing. If I could sleep through the night without waking up twice to empty my bladder, that'd be great. Thanks Bean Sprout. Mommy loves you.

In one final nagging complaint, if I could cease being a nocturnal beast of the night and go to sleep during the late PM hours like normal people, that would be awesome. No one likes staying up staring at the ceiling fan until 2am, and then going to work at 7:30 that morning looking and feeling like this:

It especially sucks when I can't even crack myself out on coffee because although everyone says small amounts of caffeine is ok, I get all crazy and freaky about what I put into my body. EVERYTHING I take in crosses that placenta over to the little squirt, so I try to be careful. Hell, a couple occasions that I had alcohol before finding out I was preggo freaked me out, although I'm pretty sure the placenta isn't even formed yet at the early stages of pregnancy I was in at the time.

So, another rambling entry. Oh well. You should be used to this by now. Come on. I created this specifically to talk about myself and the growing spawn. I need to annoy someone else with this shit floating in my head besides my stinky husband. (<3).

Continuing on

Alright, so I've just had a shower, got some cookies and milk and have a cat snuggled up next to me. I'm ready to blog. In a continuation of my super long introductory posts, here's number 3. I hope some readers are enjoying themselves thus far.

Ok, so the day after I told my mom and grandparents, I went to tell my dad he was gonna be a grandpappy again (my half sister has 2, so it's the 3rd for him). I waited all day until he was due to be home from work, and then drove to his house. He wasn't home (argh!) so I called and luckily he was on his way. Thank god, cause it was boiling outside, and I hate sitting with my car running. Preggo was gonna start melting soon if he didn't show. A few minutes later he and my stepmother Maria got home, we went inside and I told him pretty much immediately. Again, I was pretty much on the verge of tears and he was probably thinking something was wrong, haha. He was really surprised, and really excited. A moment later Maria walked back in (she'd walked outside for something). So she looks at us, huge smiles on both our faces and is looking at us like "what's with you two?"

So my dad tells her I came to tell them I'm expecting a bean sprout, and she was just beside herself with surprise

Maria LOVES little babies and children so she got so excited, and we all hugged and had another fantastic moment.

I have to say, in these early days of telling everyone, I felt so incredibly blessed. This baby has made so many people happy for Nick and I, and so many people excited for us. I can't even say how much it means that people who I haven't seen for awhile, or may not have spoken to in awhile are just as happy for me as close friends I see regularly. My mom told me that the day after I told her, she ran into the mom of a girl I grew up with. I haven't seen this girl or her mother for years but she was so happy for me and my mom. It means a lot to hear things like this; it feels good to know people care so much. This baby will be surrounded by a lot of love.

The rest of the night was pretty normal for any other visit. We had some dinner, and I saw a movie with him and my brother which they had planned earlier. I was so relieved to have it all off my chest. I know many women wait til they're out of the 1st trimester to tell everyone but there was NO WAY I could hold it in til then. I'm still in the 1st trimester right now! 

Since this entry was so "short", I'll add a picture that if you have me on facebook, you've probably already seen. A little over a week ago, I got to see the first images of my little sprout <3

Our little shithead!! Can't wait to see more of shim as the weeks go by :)

Telling the world..

I decided to do another entry. Yes, so soon. Since I'm starting this blog somewhat late in the game, I feel there's kind of a lot to catch up on in terms of my pregnancy and the few things that have been going on during it. So I want to catch up, deal with it.

With that said, I always want to remember the wonderful day it all became real and known to my family and friends. :) This may be long again, so deal with it also.. again.

So after the aforementioned longest weekend ever, July 5th finally rolls around and so does my doctor's appointment. I was so smiley and cheery that day, ready to get medical confirmation of the little bean. I remember the nurse who took my vitals was so sweet, talking about her own pregnancy, telling me she hoped mine was positive. Loved her! The doctor herself was a different story. I'm in the examining room, waiting, eager and happy still. She finally comes in, and before she really asks me any medical questions, makes small talk, or ANYTHING, she lays this one on me:

"So are you going to terminate the pregnancy?"

umm, what?

Does it LOOK like I'm here for a quickie abortion? Do most regretful mothers-to-be come to the doctor to find out for sure there's a life inside them before they go get rid of it? Does it help compound their guilt?  DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'm mistaking this clean, proper medical facility for a freaking back-alley abortion clinic?? Sorry, must've made a wrong turn. Wtf, lady?

I kind of chuckle awkwardly and say no, that I'm happy about this and want it confirmed due to positive home tests. Jesus lady. I know I look like a teenager but obviously I'm married and not looking around all shifty-eyed, pointing to my belly and asking you to please "take care of it".

Anyway. She THEN asks me standard medical questions, then finally SCOLDS me for not having been taking prenatal vitamins prior to becoming pregnant. Um, again, lady.. I don't understand you. You think I would be taking vitamins for a baby you originally thought I came here to ABORT? This doctor is foreign, so who knows how things are done in the Foreign Land, which I suspect is somewhere in Eastern Europe. Maybe she got her medical degree in Soviet Russia, where baby aborts you. Moving on...

Finally, it's time to take my whizz quiz and pass it off to the lab for my results. While I'm waiting, I get my vitamins from the pharmacy and then go back upstairs where the doctor brings me a printout reading POSITIVE. She then finds it in her judgmental, foreign heart to congratulate me, then I leave. In a nice positive note, as I was walking through the parking lot to my car, the very nice nurse from the beginning called to me and asked what the test said. I told her positive and she was happy for me. At least SOMEONE at the clinic was! haha.

I don't remember if I already had an overnight bag packed to go to Maryland, or if I went home first. Either way, I hit the road as soon as possible and told Mom I was on my way. I was so glad it isn't unusual to come home randomly just because I found a couple days to do so. I was so excited, and all I could think about the whole 4 hours was her reaction. A day or so prior, I bought a card at Target, since I wanted to tell her the news with something that would say it for me. I failed to find a cute, gender neutral baby item with something like "I love Grandma", so I opted for a card. Mom loves cards, and she keeps those shits forever. It said something like "Congratulations on your upcoming baby" and I drew a " ^ grand"  in front of "baby" to make it appropriate for her. Then I wrote "Surprise! We're pregnant!" underneath.

After I got to MD, I tried so hard to act normal, though I was shaking and probably on the verge of tears. I finally handed her the card, said something hilariously casual like "I saw this at Target, and thought you'd like it." It seemed like it took forever for her to look at the front (which had a baby in a pea pod), then open it and read. She looked at me with the most excited face and wide eyes and exclaimed, "You are?!?!" and we hugged and cried and it was amazing. I don't feel like I could ever write or explain enough to properly convey the joy and of that moment. (All together now, awwww). It was incredible. One of the first things she did say was "We have to tell my mom!" as she got up and started to grab her purse and put on her flip flops. It was 7 or 8 at night, so we hurried over before my grandparents settled in for the night.

We got there and my mom handed my grandma the card, who read it and said, "we're havin' a baby!" My aunt was also there so we all hugged and took pictures and it was another wonderful moment. Also by this point, I had made the ever-so-required facebook announcement to tell the world the news. I had sent the status with my phone, so by the time I got to a computer, I had quite a lot of messages waiting for me..

Lots of other people individually posted on my Wall, so in total I probably had about 50+ congratulations, which is incredible! I was truly overwhelmed with all the love Nick and I received.

I don't know how we ever settled down that night from all the excitement, but eventually we did, and the next day I was off to tell my dad, since he's an old geezer and was no doubt settled in by 9 or 9:30 that night. This entry has turned out ridiculously long and rambley just like the first, so I'll end the story here. Next can be telling my dad, which isn't as long. So afterwards I can get on to talking about current things as they happen... which was probably my original point in the first place. whoops.

Starting things off..

Well, here we are.

Since I found out that I was pregnant, I have all kinds of random thoughts and tidbits and whatnot in my head. I realized I've more or less been spamming it all on my facebook, where my many non-parent friends might not care so much. Also, for lack of an actual physical baby book at the moment, I thought I could document any pregnancy related milestones, observations, and just random thoughts. Probably pics too.

I think perhaps a good starting point could be the story of how I found out Nick and I were gonna be parents. I certainly won't forget it but I didn't tell most people outside of family and the friends I was talking to that day. I'm not really the best writer or storyteller or anything but bear with me, we'll see how this goes. (Prepare for super long rambley-ness)

They always say that "when you know, you know". I remember it was late June, and I noted to myself that my period should be coming in the next few days. so I should make sure I have tampons and the such so I wouldn't have the dreaded moment when you realize you've run out, right on your way to work or school or something equally as super-inconvenient.

As the days passed, I noticed my breasts and nipples were waayy sensitive. Like, to the touch. Even my bra rubbing on them slightly was really uncomfortable. I didn't quite put two and two together until I realized it was REALLY late June, and still no Aunt Flo. I told Nick and he said something along the lines of, "Well go take a test, noob". I decided I would wait until June had completely come and gone until I would test. But like I said, I "knew". The night of June 30th I was anxious. Nervous. What would happen tomorrow? Over the passing days I thought about what if I really was pregnant? What if? I actually became ok with the idea, and a part of me hoped I was. But still, I was freaking out on the inside. Hilariously enough, just a few weeks earlier, a co-worker at my job asked if I had kids. My response was something almost EXACTLY like Peter's response in the bar scene of this video:

The co-worker laughed, and I said I felt like I was not ready, and probably just too young. The fantastic irony being that at the moment of that conversation, I had a blastocyst inside me furiously dividing and multiplying itself into an embryo. Anyway, moving on...

I had only told Nick about my concern at this point, but I couldn't take it anymore. I texted a couple close gals and told them I thought I was pregnant. In return I got some comforting words and very lovely things about how I would be a great mommy, and they hoped that I was. (Thanks Shannon and Casey, loves yoouu)

So July 1st comes. I get dressed and decide I needed to go for it. No way around it anymore. On the way to the car, I texted my close friend Nancy: "soo I'm on my way to go buy a pregnancy test..." She told me I was welcome to come to her place to take it, which I absolutely agreed. Nick was on duty that day, and I would've been home alone with the furr-butts taking the test otherwise. I stopped at Walgreen's, and got a two pack digital test. (Funny thought I had in Walgreens: I was hoping they sold giant jugs of Sunny D, so I could drink it all and have a moment like the opening credits scene in Juno haha). At Nancy's, we talked and pondered over the impending results, waiting for me to actually have to pee enough to soak this stick.

Finally. No more putting it off. For the first time in my life, I'm taking a pregnancy test and my hands are shaking. Afterwards, I set it on the counter and finish up. I stand to wash my hands and as I'm doing so, I look down at the test, which had began displaying a little hour glass icon to indicate it was working. At this point in time, it has been literally about 15-20 seconds since I peed on it, stood up and finished, and began washing my hands. My hands probably weren't even that lathered yet. In those brief seconds, the test displayed its result:

Pregnant.

I'm almost positive my eyes didn't leave that test the rest of washing, drying of hands and subsequently yelling across the apartment, "UMMM, NANCY!"

I pick it up, walk over to her in the kitchen and hold it up without saying a word. I don't remember her exact response, but the whole situation was funny to her and it was probably something like "hahaha you're growing a person!" (Don't worry, Nancy was really supportive and humor is definitely what I needed!)

So there it was. We sat for a little while with me in complete shock. Just shock, not knowing what to think. Even with several days to think on the possibility can't prepare you to find this kind of thing out. I searched around on the computer for a clinic to give me a real test to confirm it. It being the friday of 4th of July weekend, my choices were limited and expensive. My only choice was to wait until tuesday the 5th, when I could see my normal doctor. We decided to get cupcakes to ease my nerves. om nom nom.

My God. The longest weekend of my life was next to ensue, but in the meantime, my next step was to tell Nicky. Being on the ship, his phone is not reliable but I texted him a photo of the positive test anyway. The next day, I took the second test first thing in the morning before work. The SAME exact thing happened: I got a result within a few seconds and it was positive. ohhhh boy. Before I left for work, I left both tests on the bathroom counter with a note, "Congratulations, Daddy!" I eventually ended up getting a hold of Nick via email that afternoon, and he was very happy as far as I could tell through all the smiley face emoticons and exclamation points. That evening when I got home from work, he was there to meet me at the door and lift me up for a spinning-around-in-happiness hug. It was definitely overdue, since I had found out more than 24 hours prior and hadn't seen him yet due to our overlapping work schedules.

We decided to keep it a secret for the time being, minus the few girlfriends who knew and the friends of his who were at the house right then. I knew I needed to tell my family in person, and I planned right then to make the drive to Maryland immediately following my Dr appointment on the 5th. I wanted to talk to my mom about everything SO BAD, but I knew I couldn't tell her this online or on the phone. This needed to be done in person, so I held back the few times I talked to her those couple days until I could get to MD. It's a good thing it isn't out of the ordinary for me to come across a couple days off in a row, and make an impromptu trip home.

We were so happy to find out this wonderful news, and couldn't wait to share with everybody we knew. I just needed official word from the doctor first. After that would happen, I would have one of the happiest days as I drove home to tell my parents and family. But that's another entry for a different day.

Goodnight for now loves :)