Pet Peeve #376284

So I'm thinking it would be pretty awesome if random people, who aren't my family/husband/doctor or even that close to me would NOT ask if I'm going to breastfeed.

Normally, this may or may not annoy me, but when you're my (male) boss and asking, I'm kinda gonna wanna know wtf is wrong with you dude.

Since when is that included in the normal line of pregnancy questioning???

i.e.,

"When are you due?"

"Boy or girl?"

"Are you excited?"

(fucking of course I am, are you that desperate to make small talk with someone who's pregnant?)

When has it become ok to ask someone you may not really know personally, or that well, if they're going to breastfeed? Protip: it's my own goddamn business.

I think I might just start answering no so I can piss off all the super duper gung-ho pro-breastfeeders. Then tell them I don't care. They can all go be wet nurses if they love it so much.

Carry on.

So....

I can essentially sum of all of pregnancy thus far with one single photograph.

oh yes. You thought I ate a lot of mac and cheese before? psshht

Of Boys and Girls

What is with people's disbelief and unwillingness to accept that I don't have a preference of the baby's gender? I get asked all the time what I hope it is, and I reply that I don't care, that I just want it to be healthy, perfect, all ten fingers and toes, blah blah blahh.

This is almost always followed by the person being like



"......really?"

Um, yes really.

I mean you can write to Ripley's Believe It or Not if you have such a hard time with this and then go petition that I become an exhibit in their museum, but believe it or not, this is how I feel. I feel equally as excited thinking about Nick with his little mini-me boy as I do thinking about me with my little mini-me princess. The kid will be my bff either way. And I will teach it to love the Spice Girls with me either way.

 

You know you miss those crazy Brits. I sure do.


At least I am excited to find out the gender in 2 months. I honestly can't believe there are people out there who still live in the stone age and CHOOSE to not know the gender until birth. Fuck that. If you're one of these people and are offended, I don't really care. Congratulations, you made yourself wait out a surprise an extra 5 months for no real reason and put a burden on everyone who had to buy you baby shower gifts. Dumb.

So to reiterate, I don't care right now what naughty parts the sprout is growing. Really. I promise. (Just that whatever parts they are, are developing normally.... and there's only one set of parts.)

Some random tidbits and sappyness

1. The gender ultrasound is set for October 14th!!!! Once we have that, 

I can announce what the name will be :D

2. I haven't been able to button my work pants for at least a week or so now. bahaha.

It might be time to get some maternity uniforms.

In the meantime, I am starting to feel super maternal and sappy. I'm so eager to start physically feeling the bean sprout in terms of bigger belly, kicks and movement, etc. I already am starting to feel so close to it, and feel like I want to tell it that I love it, and I'll protect it forever, and I want to take it everywhere, show it everything there is to see, teach it the beautiful things I've loved throughout the years. I also want to know the gender so I can stop saying "it". dammit. Saying "it" ruined my flow of sap and mushiness in my head as I was typing. 

But seriously, I feel so happy to be carrying this little baby, keeping it warm and safe and nurtured. I mean, I've had pets most of my life that I've loved with all my heart and treated as my furry children, but some of the feelings I'm starting to get just knowing I have my little one growing and getting ready to meet me and its daddy, it's incredible. I can't wait to love on this little thing every single day :)

aaahhh omg I'm so lame. haha. Ok, I'll end this cheese-session. I need to go de-cheese myself. Maybe take a shower.

P.S. Happy birthday today to my mommy and proud grandmommy-to-be!!!

Symptoms and Indicators

So I can only imagine the jeers and evil eyes I would earn with this, but I must say, this pregnancy has been really easy and really good to me. If the one glaring, obvious symptom of my lack of a bleedy uterus hadn't given it away, who knows how long until I'd realized my body was harboring a rogue swimmer from my husband.

First of all, the greatest thing about this pregnancy so far is...

No morning sickness.

Yep. It's true. Suck on that. At most, I'll feel mild nausea when I'm hungry. Which feels ass backwards in terms of me being able to fix both, but if I just eat something, both go away and Mandy is a happy lady.

However, one symptom I didn't need was the BOOBS. If you've met me for five minutes, you are well aware of the fact that I was endowed with some ta-ta's. I was in bras by 6th grade, B-cup by 8th, and a C by high school graduation. The girls decided they were too legit to quit so they kept on keepin' on and I've been a D since I was 18 or 19. So my milk glands springing to life like a new diesel engine has created a side effect I just don't care for. I guess it's a good thing I already know how to dress them to not be obnoxious and be all LOOK AT ME! And I suppose the bright side is that Nick doesn't have any objection to this change in my body. So at least someone is enjoying it.

One big annoyance: Peeing. If I could sleep through the night without waking up twice to empty my bladder, that'd be great. Thanks Bean Sprout. Mommy loves you.

In one final nagging complaint, if I could cease being a nocturnal beast of the night and go to sleep during the late PM hours like normal people, that would be awesome. No one likes staying up staring at the ceiling fan until 2am, and then going to work at 7:30 that morning looking and feeling like this:

It especially sucks when I can't even crack myself out on coffee because although everyone says small amounts of caffeine is ok, I get all crazy and freaky about what I put into my body. EVERYTHING I take in crosses that placenta over to the little squirt, so I try to be careful. Hell, a couple occasions that I had alcohol before finding out I was preggo freaked me out, although I'm pretty sure the placenta isn't even formed yet at the early stages of pregnancy I was in at the time.

So, another rambling entry. Oh well. You should be used to this by now. Come on. I created this specifically to talk about myself and the growing spawn. I need to annoy someone else with this shit floating in my head besides my stinky husband. (<3).

Continuing on

Alright, so I've just had a shower, got some cookies and milk and have a cat snuggled up next to me. I'm ready to blog. In a continuation of my super long introductory posts, here's number 3. I hope some readers are enjoying themselves thus far.

Ok, so the day after I told my mom and grandparents, I went to tell my dad he was gonna be a grandpappy again (my half sister has 2, so it's the 3rd for him). I waited all day until he was due to be home from work, and then drove to his house. He wasn't home (argh!) so I called and luckily he was on his way. Thank god, cause it was boiling outside, and I hate sitting with my car running. Preggo was gonna start melting soon if he didn't show. A few minutes later he and my stepmother Maria got home, we went inside and I told him pretty much immediately. Again, I was pretty much on the verge of tears and he was probably thinking something was wrong, haha. He was really surprised, and really excited. A moment later Maria walked back in (she'd walked outside for something). So she looks at us, huge smiles on both our faces and is looking at us like "what's with you two?"

So my dad tells her I came to tell them I'm expecting a bean sprout, and she was just beside herself with surprise

Maria LOVES little babies and children so she got so excited, and we all hugged and had another fantastic moment.

I have to say, in these early days of telling everyone, I felt so incredibly blessed. This baby has made so many people happy for Nick and I, and so many people excited for us. I can't even say how much it means that people who I haven't seen for awhile, or may not have spoken to in awhile are just as happy for me as close friends I see regularly. My mom told me that the day after I told her, she ran into the mom of a girl I grew up with. I haven't seen this girl or her mother for years but she was so happy for me and my mom. It means a lot to hear things like this; it feels good to know people care so much. This baby will be surrounded by a lot of love.

The rest of the night was pretty normal for any other visit. We had some dinner, and I saw a movie with him and my brother which they had planned earlier. I was so relieved to have it all off my chest. I know many women wait til they're out of the 1st trimester to tell everyone but there was NO WAY I could hold it in til then. I'm still in the 1st trimester right now! 

Since this entry was so "short", I'll add a picture that if you have me on facebook, you've probably already seen. A little over a week ago, I got to see the first images of my little sprout <3

Our little shithead!! Can't wait to see more of shim as the weeks go by :)

Telling the world..

I decided to do another entry. Yes, so soon. Since I'm starting this blog somewhat late in the game, I feel there's kind of a lot to catch up on in terms of my pregnancy and the few things that have been going on during it. So I want to catch up, deal with it.

With that said, I always want to remember the wonderful day it all became real and known to my family and friends. :) This may be long again, so deal with it also.. again.

So after the aforementioned longest weekend ever, July 5th finally rolls around and so does my doctor's appointment. I was so smiley and cheery that day, ready to get medical confirmation of the little bean. I remember the nurse who took my vitals was so sweet, talking about her own pregnancy, telling me she hoped mine was positive. Loved her! The doctor herself was a different story. I'm in the examining room, waiting, eager and happy still. She finally comes in, and before she really asks me any medical questions, makes small talk, or ANYTHING, she lays this one on me:

"So are you going to terminate the pregnancy?"

umm, what?

Does it LOOK like I'm here for a quickie abortion? Do most regretful mothers-to-be come to the doctor to find out for sure there's a life inside them before they go get rid of it? Does it help compound their guilt?  DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'm mistaking this clean, proper medical facility for a freaking back-alley abortion clinic?? Sorry, must've made a wrong turn. Wtf, lady?

I kind of chuckle awkwardly and say no, that I'm happy about this and want it confirmed due to positive home tests. Jesus lady. I know I look like a teenager but obviously I'm married and not looking around all shifty-eyed, pointing to my belly and asking you to please "take care of it".

Anyway. She THEN asks me standard medical questions, then finally SCOLDS me for not having been taking prenatal vitamins prior to becoming pregnant. Um, again, lady.. I don't understand you. You think I would be taking vitamins for a baby you originally thought I came here to ABORT? This doctor is foreign, so who knows how things are done in the Foreign Land, which I suspect is somewhere in Eastern Europe. Maybe she got her medical degree in Soviet Russia, where baby aborts you. Moving on...

Finally, it's time to take my whizz quiz and pass it off to the lab for my results. While I'm waiting, I get my vitamins from the pharmacy and then go back upstairs where the doctor brings me a printout reading POSITIVE. She then finds it in her judgmental, foreign heart to congratulate me, then I leave. In a nice positive note, as I was walking through the parking lot to my car, the very nice nurse from the beginning called to me and asked what the test said. I told her positive and she was happy for me. At least SOMEONE at the clinic was! haha.

I don't remember if I already had an overnight bag packed to go to Maryland, or if I went home first. Either way, I hit the road as soon as possible and told Mom I was on my way. I was so glad it isn't unusual to come home randomly just because I found a couple days to do so. I was so excited, and all I could think about the whole 4 hours was her reaction. A day or so prior, I bought a card at Target, since I wanted to tell her the news with something that would say it for me. I failed to find a cute, gender neutral baby item with something like "I love Grandma", so I opted for a card. Mom loves cards, and she keeps those shits forever. It said something like "Congratulations on your upcoming baby" and I drew a " ^ grand"  in front of "baby" to make it appropriate for her. Then I wrote "Surprise! We're pregnant!" underneath.

After I got to MD, I tried so hard to act normal, though I was shaking and probably on the verge of tears. I finally handed her the card, said something hilariously casual like "I saw this at Target, and thought you'd like it." It seemed like it took forever for her to look at the front (which had a baby in a pea pod), then open it and read. She looked at me with the most excited face and wide eyes and exclaimed, "You are?!?!" and we hugged and cried and it was amazing. I don't feel like I could ever write or explain enough to properly convey the joy and of that moment. (All together now, awwww). It was incredible. One of the first things she did say was "We have to tell my mom!" as she got up and started to grab her purse and put on her flip flops. It was 7 or 8 at night, so we hurried over before my grandparents settled in for the night.

We got there and my mom handed my grandma the card, who read it and said, "we're havin' a baby!" My aunt was also there so we all hugged and took pictures and it was another wonderful moment. Also by this point, I had made the ever-so-required facebook announcement to tell the world the news. I had sent the status with my phone, so by the time I got to a computer, I had quite a lot of messages waiting for me..

Lots of other people individually posted on my Wall, so in total I probably had about 50+ congratulations, which is incredible! I was truly overwhelmed with all the love Nick and I received.

I don't know how we ever settled down that night from all the excitement, but eventually we did, and the next day I was off to tell my dad, since he's an old geezer and was no doubt settled in by 9 or 9:30 that night. This entry has turned out ridiculously long and rambley just like the first, so I'll end the story here. Next can be telling my dad, which isn't as long. So afterwards I can get on to talking about current things as they happen... which was probably my original point in the first place. whoops.

Starting things off..

Well, here we are.

Since I found out that I was pregnant, I have all kinds of random thoughts and tidbits and whatnot in my head. I realized I've more or less been spamming it all on my facebook, where my many non-parent friends might not care so much. Also, for lack of an actual physical baby book at the moment, I thought I could document any pregnancy related milestones, observations, and just random thoughts. Probably pics too.

I think perhaps a good starting point could be the story of how I found out Nick and I were gonna be parents. I certainly won't forget it but I didn't tell most people outside of family and the friends I was talking to that day. I'm not really the best writer or storyteller or anything but bear with me, we'll see how this goes. (Prepare for super long rambley-ness)

They always say that "when you know, you know". I remember it was late June, and I noted to myself that my period should be coming in the next few days. so I should make sure I have tampons and the such so I wouldn't have the dreaded moment when you realize you've run out, right on your way to work or school or something equally as super-inconvenient.

As the days passed, I noticed my breasts and nipples were waayy sensitive. Like, to the touch. Even my bra rubbing on them slightly was really uncomfortable. I didn't quite put two and two together until I realized it was REALLY late June, and still no Aunt Flo. I told Nick and he said something along the lines of, "Well go take a test, noob". I decided I would wait until June had completely come and gone until I would test. But like I said, I "knew". The night of June 30th I was anxious. Nervous. What would happen tomorrow? Over the passing days I thought about what if I really was pregnant? What if? I actually became ok with the idea, and a part of me hoped I was. But still, I was freaking out on the inside. Hilariously enough, just a few weeks earlier, a co-worker at my job asked if I had kids. My response was something almost EXACTLY like Peter's response in the bar scene of this video:

The co-worker laughed, and I said I felt like I was not ready, and probably just too young. The fantastic irony being that at the moment of that conversation, I had a blastocyst inside me furiously dividing and multiplying itself into an embryo. Anyway, moving on...

I had only told Nick about my concern at this point, but I couldn't take it anymore. I texted a couple close gals and told them I thought I was pregnant. In return I got some comforting words and very lovely things about how I would be a great mommy, and they hoped that I was. (Thanks Shannon and Casey, loves yoouu)

So July 1st comes. I get dressed and decide I needed to go for it. No way around it anymore. On the way to the car, I texted my close friend Nancy: "soo I'm on my way to go buy a pregnancy test..." She told me I was welcome to come to her place to take it, which I absolutely agreed. Nick was on duty that day, and I would've been home alone with the furr-butts taking the test otherwise. I stopped at Walgreen's, and got a two pack digital test. (Funny thought I had in Walgreens: I was hoping they sold giant jugs of Sunny D, so I could drink it all and have a moment like the opening credits scene in Juno haha). At Nancy's, we talked and pondered over the impending results, waiting for me to actually have to pee enough to soak this stick.

Finally. No more putting it off. For the first time in my life, I'm taking a pregnancy test and my hands are shaking. Afterwards, I set it on the counter and finish up. I stand to wash my hands and as I'm doing so, I look down at the test, which had began displaying a little hour glass icon to indicate it was working. At this point in time, it has been literally about 15-20 seconds since I peed on it, stood up and finished, and began washing my hands. My hands probably weren't even that lathered yet. In those brief seconds, the test displayed its result:

Pregnant.

I'm almost positive my eyes didn't leave that test the rest of washing, drying of hands and subsequently yelling across the apartment, "UMMM, NANCY!"

I pick it up, walk over to her in the kitchen and hold it up without saying a word. I don't remember her exact response, but the whole situation was funny to her and it was probably something like "hahaha you're growing a person!" (Don't worry, Nancy was really supportive and humor is definitely what I needed!)

So there it was. We sat for a little while with me in complete shock. Just shock, not knowing what to think. Even with several days to think on the possibility can't prepare you to find this kind of thing out. I searched around on the computer for a clinic to give me a real test to confirm it. It being the friday of 4th of July weekend, my choices were limited and expensive. My only choice was to wait until tuesday the 5th, when I could see my normal doctor. We decided to get cupcakes to ease my nerves. om nom nom.

My God. The longest weekend of my life was next to ensue, but in the meantime, my next step was to tell Nicky. Being on the ship, his phone is not reliable but I texted him a photo of the positive test anyway. The next day, I took the second test first thing in the morning before work. The SAME exact thing happened: I got a result within a few seconds and it was positive. ohhhh boy. Before I left for work, I left both tests on the bathroom counter with a note, "Congratulations, Daddy!" I eventually ended up getting a hold of Nick via email that afternoon, and he was very happy as far as I could tell through all the smiley face emoticons and exclamation points. That evening when I got home from work, he was there to meet me at the door and lift me up for a spinning-around-in-happiness hug. It was definitely overdue, since I had found out more than 24 hours prior and hadn't seen him yet due to our overlapping work schedules.

We decided to keep it a secret for the time being, minus the few girlfriends who knew and the friends of his who were at the house right then. I knew I needed to tell my family in person, and I planned right then to make the drive to Maryland immediately following my Dr appointment on the 5th. I wanted to talk to my mom about everything SO BAD, but I knew I couldn't tell her this online or on the phone. This needed to be done in person, so I held back the few times I talked to her those couple days until I could get to MD. It's a good thing it isn't out of the ordinary for me to come across a couple days off in a row, and make an impromptu trip home.

We were so happy to find out this wonderful news, and couldn't wait to share with everybody we knew. I just needed official word from the doctor first. After that would happen, I would have one of the happiest days as I drove home to tell my parents and family. But that's another entry for a different day.

Goodnight for now loves :)